I have the sudden urge to close down my blog. Lol it doesn't really make much difference since I post mostly nonsense. But anyway, don't think I'll be blogging much for awhile. Or is it just at the moment?

I hate feeling emotional, depressed. Well of course I do know that nobody likes it, but whatever. Every time I want to complain that I'm tired, so tired of everything. But you know how people gets tired of listening. & you know you're not the only one going through this, definitely more others are actually going through worse. So who am I to complain.

Sometimes there are too many things that you want to do but end up just erasing the thoughts. I kinda wanna hurry and get over this phase of my life. It's contradicting. I'm afraid of aging, but on the other end I can't wait for time to tick faster. I don't know why I'm so confident that life would be better once I get through current. Perhaps it's because someone told me it will. & even though I feel that I should make the best out of what I have, I don't really know what to do.

Suddenly I realized how I've changed over time. I feel that I don't know how to dress up anymore, putting on pretty make up or whatever.
When I go shopping, I don't know what I want. I can't see anything that I'm crazy over. & I've lost my confidence all together.

So I had wished that someone can come get me out of it. But after much thoughts, I figured that whether or not anyone care right now, I'll still be running away. I do feel myself distancing from everyone, back to the anti-social me I used to be way too far back.

As much as I feel the need of a shoulder to lie on, a hug, or a kiss, I can't find the courage to let anyone get too close.

What do I do