Finding back our Childhood

It'd been a really long time, since Primary School.
Back then I was quite anti-social, and super quiet. All the remarks on my report book, my teachers would say I need to speak up more.
So I guess I didn't have much memories of my life in Primary School since I wasn't quite involved in anything or anyone.

But still I'm missing my friends, and I do hope they still remember me.

Wait is hopeless

I've been falling sick very easily lately. I used to be pretty strong but I once wished to fall sick once in awhile so that I can probably get some attention from somebody. It's a dumb wish, I never did get what I wanted except for feeling like shit.
For years I've been waiting for someone to rescue me from this shitty feeling I keep having, then I realised it was myself who blocked everyone away. Then I wished someone strong enough could break down this wall I built myself, and bring me out of it. I don't know if anyone's strong enough, but definitely they wouldn't bother.
One day when I grow stronger again, I'll break this self-built wall down myself and fly away to freedom.

Officially an Adult

OH SHIT I'm 21!
My party went pretty well, but not as perfect as what I wished for. Hahaha, I know we can't be greedy, and anyway it's over already. I'm pretty upset that I have to accept the fact that I am no longer young! :(

I'm too much of a perfectionist, so I'm always not satisfied with many things. & I have to admit, that makes life a little more sour than it should be.

I was freaking nervous at the start because my guests reached the party EARLIER than me!!! Ok that's damn bad. So the late host, ended up forgetting many things and just rushed with the makeup and everything. Sigh... My party got no music, my speech sucks, ice pop was left in the freezer forgotten, and obviously my diet plan failed since I came out so round and chubby in the photos.
Okay actually its not that bad. I enjoyed it actually, just sad that I'm old now so I'm finding something to rant about. HAHAHA.

I'm so thankful I have my family and friends' help throughout, really!!! I can't do it alone at all. So thank you for everything. Please don't be offended by my comments above. Its my own problem hahaha. I'm glad my friends enjoyed the party. There was a pool right in front of my chalet, I brought swim suit, but I didn't swim at all. Sad. It was super tempting though, but I just did my hair treatment so I kept asking myself if I should just heck care, and I didn't. Since none of my friends are going to swim with me anyway.

At 11:59pm we start our mini-countdown. & then it was my birthday! I was almost thrown into the pool, but we negotiated. So I was told to finish a can of beer in a minute, and if I fail I'll end up in the pool. Pro enough, I finished it in 45secs. Which normally, a can of beer can take me hours to finish actually. Well it got me high for a few minutes, my face was like a tomato (just a bit of alcohol makes my whole body red). So if you see the photos of me unwrapping the presents, I look pretty shag there, Please forgive me. Hahaha...

What's a loveless relationship for?

I still don't get it. Can we really just be in a relationship with someone we "don't hate" just because the person love us? Isn't that unfair to the other party? Because I was told that life is easier to be the one who love less. That's true, but still how can one hug/kiss or whatever, with someone whom they do not love? That's torture to me. Perhaps you want to tell me love can grow when you're in the relationship, but if there's no love from the beginning how is it going to grow? I would rather let love grow in friendship, only until it grew out of friendship zone then I am able to accept a relationship. Yes I'm stubborn like that, but I don't like to face breakups. If you knew that it is not going to work out, what for waste the time and effort? If you knew the relationship is not going to last, are you still going to step into it and wait for it to break eventually?

I can't accept that at all.
Because if you ask me to be with someone I don't love, that is hell.
I will end up moody every single day.
There is no point, because life is meaningless that way. I meant trying to please someone whom I can't quite be bothered with, that's taking my soul away.

An update of my birthday planning.

I've gotten many help from my friends like the cake, chalet, this and that.

Also thanks to Joelle I don't have to buy so much utensils and also the birthday banner.

I actually did one myself too, which took my whole night to cut out every single letter. Chose the Curlz font and I almost died cutting them out! But all was worth when I saw the outcome. Its damn pretty hehehe :D

Now I'm getting pretty nervous about this. I've been worrying if there'll be too much or too little food, or whether I had forgotten anything, or if I have invited too many guests that I can't entertain all of them and also if my party won't be as what I expect it to be. But I'm looking forward to it, can't wait :)

This birthday planning is fun yet stressful, and also cost me a bomb. Lol..

All I hope is that all my friends and family will enjoy themselves at the party, and that my birthday wish will come true!!

I'm still not ready to turn 21 yet though!!! Hopefully this adulthood that's waiting for me won't be too rocky or tough.

Signing off~

Excited-21yr-o-to-be.

有时因为想太多 而错过
有时却又因为太莽撞 而被推开
到底在什么时候做什么事才是对的?
怎么感觉好像做什么 都没能留住任何人...

Being yourself

Is it right to always be yourself? People always tell us to be ourselves, but they just want us to be the person they like. So if they can't accept the real you, what happens?
How about... criminals who love to kill people? Maybe that's what they like to do. But they have to get punished. So I guess sometimes its not always right to do whatever you like, or be yourself...

We get punished if we kill our own species. We get scolded for being cruel to animals when seen killing them alive. but everyday we're eating meat, aren't we just using another person's hand to kill?
I don't even know why I'm saying this, I'm not even a vegetarian.

There's really no right or wrong about anything in life. Its just whether it is accepted by the majority or not.

Feeling like a failure..

No matter how much one thinks being different is unique, they still have that one kind that they like. So basically, if you have to be unique, you have to be the kind that people will like...

So do one have to work hard to be themselves/the person they want to be, or work hard to be someone people will like?

Singaporeans

Hey yoo! I totally forgot I have this blog to crap in. Hahaha~

So there's this case of 'ah lian vs kpkb aunty' which is pretty hot news recently. It's kinda hilarious, not about the quarrel but how we can actually suddenly become popular so unexpectedly. We have so many similar cases out there, and its really entertaining for the 'audience' like myself.

In Singapore, we are 'trained' to be kiasu. Because everyone else is. So if you're not, you'll definitely lose out. Here we are also taught to have courtesy, to always think for others. Not because we want to be kind, but because we don't want to be Stomped. I'm not saying everyone though, there are still many kind souls out there I believe (:

So yeah, everyone, you can be popular anytime you want. Try making a fool of yourself in public and make sure somebody takes your photo/video, simple as that.

Everyday when we go out, we have to worry about being stomped by strangers who judge us. It's unfair because it really suck being judged by someone who don't know you at all. But this is Singapore, this is reality world. You just have to remember you are being watched all time round.

So my advice, to wear pretty and maintain the image you want to portray even if you're not with anyone you know. This way, even if you kena stomp, maybe the audience will give chance and not be too evil mouth on you. Hahahaha...

Okay good luck, all of you ♥

Laziness win

Hoho I've booked my birthday chalet already.
but the funny thing is, before booking it I was actually thinking and planning.
Now that I've officially booked, I stopped planning anything. Too busy, too lazy.
I wish I wouldn't get too lazy to post about my 21st when it comes, hope I'll be diligent enough to have a birthday haul and actually post it up. Which I may, or may not.
Just wait, and see. Haha~

Summertime

It's freaking Summer time and I'm melting. Can't quite stand the hot weather, I feel like going for a holiday at some cold country and come back after summer! I hate it when I get rashes! ):
Sun, please be kind to me~

Dilemma

Every time I decided on something, I would receive comments that it will be hard to do or that it might not be a good idea. Then I would start thinking a lot more and probably end up backing out a little. I need to start believing in myself that I can do it. Life is full of ups and downs, I might or might not meet the problems my friends mentioned. But if I'm not willing to try, I believe any jobs out there doesn't suit me at all. Because all roads have their different barrel, there is definitely no fully smooth path that will not meet any problems. If there is, really, everyone will be fighting for it and also there will be nothing much to gain from.

So yeah, I can do this! 加油! :D

Event Management?

My Birthday is about 4months away but I sort of have the full idea of how I want it to be already. Half way through, I suddenly have the urge to try out working as an event planner. Sounds pretty interesting compared to sitting in an office everyday. So I'm going to start by looking for related courses. Hehe! I hope it's not too hard to get a certificate or whatever. Now I just need to make sure that I really want this, then I'll strive towards it. Please give me some support yea? haha.

One reason I chose this is because, I can't succumb to this kind of everyday-same life for too long. I feel like it's a total waste of my life!! Working without passion, just for money money and money.. Way too meaningless! Even though I don't fully know what an event planner do, (my impression of it is just..planning events?) anyway I bet it'll be better than office jobs. The satisfaction when everything that you had planned all went well, smile on people's faces and a break after all that. Isn't it like when we were in school rushing for projects and that relief and pleasure you feel after all the hard work? Furthermore, you get paid. Hah, I like (;

You know how people like to talk things about people behind their backs? Its funny, because we all do it even though we hate it if we were the topic but yea, we still do it.
We see someone doing things that others seldom do, we talk about them, laugh over it. Then leave an impression on others who might not even really know the person, the impression that he/she is a weirdo.
So you see, all of us can actually leave impressions on anyone, even strangers who haven't even seen us before.
See how idols or stars get popular? We introduce them to each other. Because they stand out so much, good or bad, we talk about them.

Some people talk about someone they hate, so that others hate that someone too; and also to make sure people thinks they are right, so that they side them. We all do that. Eventually, everyone who hears about that someone start to observe if he/she is really like this. So yeah, lets say many other people do it too, but only one is being talked about. People observe that person, and confirmed that the rumors are right. Ta-da, no friends for him/her.

So much for being unique, being special. If you're unique in a way people disapprove of, you get criticized; well if the audience approve of your specialty, lucky you. That's the reality.

Oh but look, aren't everyone of us special? Yes, we are all different. That's why we judge each other, put labels on everyone, and constantly trying to prove to people that we are very common, normal; yet sometimes we want to stand out, but of course in the way people will approve of.

The irony. I don't even know what all of us want actually.

I tell people I don't like to see the doctor. So I kind of drag it whenever I fall sick.
Truth is, I don't like to go to the doctor alone. Yes I'm more needy when I'm sick, sorry about that but this is me. I'm quite a needy and clingy person if it comes to someone I love; and very opposite to others. and what I have learned from people from everywhere, is that being needy scares off guys. So what I have to do, is just act like I'm not. But I don't think I can. I'm a girl, I get jealous very easily, I want to see you immediately when I miss you like mad. I try not to show it, but it would really kill me. Seriously, if I'm not being this way towards you, it's just because I don't care at all. Simple? Even though once in a while I would try to hide it like I'm supposed to... but I really can't do it forever. So yeah, It's sad if those I love can't accept me this way; I'll just keep waiting for someone to be able to then.

Too much of Self-consciousness

My flu is almost gone, almost, but not yet. and I am still in hell.

I don't know how I hurt my leg muscle, its freaking painful when I walk and I had to limp around.. like a clown... and I really really hate it! The feeling of people staring at me like a freak who walks so awkwardly. Urgh. 

Blogger HTML code has become a stranger to me.

Is it that I forgot how to understand it already or their codes changed?

Now I'm a noob and I can't make my blogskin pretty, anybody wants to lend me a hand?

If not I'll just leave it this way.

But normally if my blogs aren't pretty, I wont stay long. Hahahha....

Temperamental Day

Today seems like a pretty bad day for me.
Not that anything really bad happened, but I already lost my temper early in the Morning just of a small issue which is nobody's fault but I just threw the blame to someone. I feel really bad now.

And right now, feeling stressful at work. Nothing really happened, but I feel so suffocated. Maybe its PMS, I don't know. Ahhh~ I'm having headache, wish I could just stay home today ):

I need my happy pill.....

The diet plan that always fail.

I can't quite stand it that my weight haven't been dropping at all but seem to be increasing instead. OMG! Short people can't afford to be fat T_T I don't want to look like a teapot(short&stout)!
It's so hard for me to lose weight because I am too lazy to exercise and I love food very very much.
Am I gonna be this fat or fatter for the rest of my life?? NOOOOoo!!

Motivations, determinations, please all come to me!!!

My Roommate..

I feel like I'm a super fail sister. I'm the elder sis but I can't even make my sis have a basic respect for myself. Always get shutup by her when I want to talk, and even when I want to share a story with her she don't even bother to listen everything just say whatever. Always kena suan by her wtf. I hate talking to my sister but I still like to talk her because there's no one else I can nag to at home. Argh what is my problem, and what's her problem man. I'm so angry and I can't do nothing about it.

Boring Sunday

Sleeping early on Saturdays equals waking up early on Sundays and nothing to do!!! Damn lazy to go out on Sundays but its so boring!! I only look forward to 10pm because of skipbeat. Ahh I'm rotting now, no entertainment ): and there's work tomorrow, ROARRRrrr~

I have a feeling this blog won't survive long

Life?

I don't quite understand what's the purpose of living if we are not enjoying life.
What's the use of working so hard everyday? For a better life in future? or for others?
What happens if half way through your hard-work, you unexpectedly pass away? Your hope for better life will then be gone. Is that worth? Definitely not.

Do what makes you happy, if it doesn't make you happy, do what makes the person you care happy.
and make sure the person's smile can make you happy. Anyway, you just have to be happy. Then you won't feel like life's wasted.


I took leave tomorrow to sleep longer. This is my way of enjoying life, to wake up naturally, not by an alarm clock. To be able to stay home not having to worry about anything. To cry and laugh over dramas on screen. To spend time with my friends, or blasting music and party like there's no tomorrow. I'm a couch potato and I love my life this way. Sadly this can't happen often.


kthxforreadingbye.

Life update

Here's a i don't know long or short update about my current life, its up to you whether you are interested or not.

I have actually graduated from Polytechnic for nearly a year already and I really really miss school. Some tell me, you'll want to work when you're in school but when you're working you'll want to go back to school. Not true for me! I didn't want to work when I'm schooling, not now either! Still prefer relax and slacking life, no responsibilities and also not so much things to worry about. Life after graduation is just stress and more stress.


So I'll be 21years old this coming August, and I still can't quite accept the fact that I have way passed teenage.
I've been thinking a lot on how to celebrate my 21st and until now I still can't make up my mind. I want to make it special, but that will probably cost quite a lot. So now I have decided not to think, until it's near. so stress.


As for work, yes I am working now ):
8:30am to 5:30pm everyday. Same as MP/SIP, but cannot slack as much. No long holidays, no exam results, no graduation or whatsoever to look forward to. I hate routine life. and the worst thing, no cute boys at work, so no motivation. Hahahaha.

I feel like going into interior design, but actually I know nothing about it. I didn't graduate from design school, neither am I a creative person. So I don't really know what to do, so scared that I can't do well in design field.

Ok anyway, I am still freaking single.
I love single life, but sometimes when I get really really tired, still wish for a shoulder to lean on at least.
I always think too much, until it becomes impossible for relationships.
I wish I can just love back anyone who loves me, but its so hard to say "i love you" to someone you don't love. How is it even possible that people can do it? It totally feels like a sin.
That's why I suck at lying.




Friday please come quick.


kthxforreadingbye.

Back to Blogspot

Hi there,

I have no idea why I'm back to here. Suddenly I just feel like telling people about my boring life, and posting on Tumblr will probably ruin my photos blog. Haha but I'm still a Tumblr fan alright.

So Blogspot have changed pretty much and I have to familiarize with it all over again. Which I kind of like IF I have the time to explore. And if you are wondering what is the difference with Blogspot and Tumblr, I will tell you soon.

Tumblr, you get to "like" or "reblog" other people's post and most of the posts are actually photos or quotes from anywhere. Most commoners don't actually post their own originality there, they just grab from people who take awesome photos or those smarties emotional happy dudes who think of cute emo inspiring quotes out of nowhere. Okay it does sound like Tumblr is filled with copycats, but its still cool anyway. Actually, I'm so lazy to explain all of a sudden. Haha. At Tumblr, we reblog to what other people post because we feel related. Its like when you have these emotions in you but don't know how to express it, then you see how somebody actually said it out for you, and knowing that you are not the only one who feels that way, it actually eases you.

As for Blogging, its actually more personal. You tell people about your life, your friends, the bitch whom you're jealous of, how your boyfriend is sooo sweet to you.. This and that. Yeah, stalkers will definitely love it if you have a blog like this. Unless you private your blog, bloggers are actually attention seekers. I am too, hahahah~
We want people to know that we exist, yes. So if one day when we suddenly die, at least we left traces behind.

I don't even know why my first post is about this. Boring uh, then how did you manage to read until here. Hahaha... Anyway above is just my opinion, I don't really care if its right or wrong; and if you do care, that's your problem.

okthxforreadingbye.